Discovered the gene of a family scandal...

GENETIC

In Sweden, a genetic sequence responsible for the male propensity for family scandals has been discovered. This tendency is associated with the level of the hormone vasopressin. Our poetry reviewer has long suspected something like this

Discovered the gene of a family scandal! I'll tune the lyre, I'll fix the feathers... my wife suffered a lot with me, but only now it's clear why. When I was breaking glasses and lampshades, when a random guest was shaking in the corner – all these were genes and hormones, and I thought – promiscuity and anger! That's why you're so awesome, and I, my friend, have been sad for a long time: women don't have such a gene, my friend, and men, my friend, have it full. Of course, it's hard to live with such a man. I couldn't stand a day with him myself. It's all the fault, my friend, it's all the cause – vasopressin, my friend, vasopressin! Aggression is natural, like trousers, like air, like the hooves of a horse… Thanks to the bourgeois pseudoscience, which removes responsibility from me. Diarrhea comes from purgen, from chicken – cutlets de-volyay, and our troubles come from the gene: make claims to it. I throw sandwiches against the wall, growl like a lion, and bend you into an arc – all because I'm of that breed: I long to be different, but I can't. However, no matter what kind of certificate I shake, I am scary to many, as an outcast country; in this sense, you know, I am like Russia. She can't, you know, be different.

Changes are possible in other parts; those who love them – move out of the country! In the alien's opinion, we are not modern, but we are faithful to the genes of our ancestors. There are no ugly buildings in Paris; China cannot live without a party; and we cannot help being an empire –listen to Dorenko, read Dugin! Opponents, stick feathers in the ass. You don't need anything in the country of native aspens. According to our secret genes, we are the empire. We have our own vasopressin. Boris, Anatolia and Genes tried to change us, but everything is fine. After all, this is not a whim. These are genes. The wife is already desperate in general. She scolded me this way and that, splashing her wings like a swallowtail, and frightened the world community, and said something about the UN, hoped to fix it with humanitarian aid and tried to cook herbal tea for me - she kept thinking that it was possible to make a donkey speak English, after all… But I will tell her, my daughter, and my son openly, no matter how you turn it: I am faithful to my vasopressin, genetics and the third way. I help the weak and the weak, I give the family calico and brocade – but if I want to make a scandal with the world, I will make a scandal with it as I want!

But it's too early to rejoice, Aborigines. The scientific world is still not weak. I heard that they have already discovered genes that are only available to women. They do not crave shackled freedoms, they want justice in everything: they have a special hormone in store for us, the genetically scandalous ones. And if we–God forbid, of course–threaten too much one day, they'll give us a punch in the face one day, and all the vasopressin won't help. All women are erogenous, but be afraid of furious beauty!

I'll shout from the floor:
– Fool... it's the genes…
– We also have genes! – you will answer.

Published on the author's personal page with a link to "Ogonek" No. 37-2008

Portal "Eternal youth" www.vechnayamolodost.ru10.12.2008