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Marina Sobe-PanekDear President,

(Nothing like "you"? I'm not being disrespectful. And not because I'm older. It's a tradition like this: the common people always turn to the Tsar-Priest for "you". As a native).

So: Dear President! I've never asked anyone for anything in my life – not from you, not from the authorities, not even from Santa Claus – and now I want to ask.
No, no, I don't need a guinea pig!
I want to ask you, dear President, for an order.
Or at least a medal.
But not for myself, but for the Lipetsk Regional Health Department.
At the very least, a certificate of honor will do for them. Only it should say: "Awarded for the most original and effective way to solve crisis problems."

I'll tell you about this original method now using the example of one department of one hospital. Well, just so as not to load you with unnecessary information. Then, if you want, you can check for yourself that the Lipetsk Regional Health Department has implemented this original method everywhere in the territory under its jurisdiction.

And so. There is a town of Yelets in the Lipetsk region. And in the city of Yelets – the first city hospital. This hospital has a hemodialysis and gravity blood surgery department. The only one, by the way, for the whole city.
Until recently, this department had its own ward for its patients and worked around the clock. Accordingly, doctors and nurses received, in addition to their basic rate, various surcharges: for night shifts, for holidays and weekends. Imagine how much it went on the circle. Terrible, what money. They are unaffordable for a normal country. And when the country is in danger? When the crisis pulls its clawed paws to the chicken tender neck of our two–headed bear ... ugh, sorry, I misspoke - an eagle, of course.
And so (even in the summer, by the way, even before any official announcement of the crisis) the Lipetsk Regional Health Department found an opportunity to save a little money for its native country. First, he took away the ward from the hemodialysis department, and then canceled night shifts, work on Sundays and holidays.

Of course, immediately the unconscious sick people began to grumble. They say that attacks of acute renal failure occur not only on weekdays from 8.00 to 17.00., but also at night, and even on holidays. They also started shouting that a person with diseased kidneys, who was caught on Saturday evening, would live until Monday morning without hemodialysis. And the recent death of a 20-year-old girl was cited as an example. To soften, of course...

Well, the girl died before she lived to see Monday. So what? Has the world turned upside down?
Yes, even if all the chronicle patients of this department of the Yelets City Hospital throw back their hooves, the world will not lead with an ear. After all, between us, these patients are only taking up a place in the sun for nothing.
Judge for yourself who needs disabled people who have been waiting for kidney transplant surgery for years (and will never wait for it) – no one.
Or here are more patients of the department – drug addicts after an overdose. These are the dregs of society in general. Who needs them?
And all sorts of different poisoned. Mushrooms or something. To hell with treating them, it's your own fault: don't eat or drink anything.
Dear President, I am generally silent about patients with chronic renal failure. If these people had led a healthy lifestyle, voted for United Russia, would not have gone to dissenting rallies, would not have read different opposition rubbish, would not have signed different letters (sometimes in defense, then in protest), would their kidneys have turned off? No, of course not.

So, in the summer, the medical staff of this department was released from night duty and from work on weekends and holidays. What should any normal person do about this? Rejoice! And they – medical workers – what are they doing? They are outraged.
And at the same time they hide behind the interests of patients.
In fact, if there was anything that outraged the doctors, it was a reduction in wages. And what's the abbreviation there – ugh, there's nothing to talk about.
For example, my younger sister Alyona, who works in this department as a nurse, has 20 years of experience and the first category, before the beginning of the Lipetsk spill crisis, she received 5 thousand kopecks. And now she gets 3 thousand 380 rubles. Well, is that a big difference? Yes, no! With a rent of 4200, she doesn't care how much she gets, three four hundred or four three hundred. Even from five kopecks the remainder will be enough to feed a cat.
If I were in the place of the Lipetsk Regional Health Department, I would generally give out no more than one thousand rubles to medical workers. Why do they need more? So that they survive and make it to retirement?

Look, dear President, what savings can be made if you apply this experience to the whole country. First, all medical workers will die out, followed by all their patients. The state will immediately fabulously enrich itself on (bend your fingers): a) saved salaries; b) non-issued disability benefits; c) pensions; d) free medicines…
(Yes, yes, free, and what did you think? I don't know how it is in other departments of the hospital, but in this hemodialysis department chronicles are treated for free!)
We count further: equipment, various medical devices, gloves and syringes, square meters of premises occupied by various unnecessary departments or even entire hospitals.

Why does the country need cancer clinics if cancer is incurable?
Why would our dear two–headed bear... ugh, I'm sorry, I misspoke again - the eagle should take under its wing various disabled chroniclers if they will never be able to benefit the state.
And why do we need sick children? It's better to give birth to new ones. Healthy…

Dear President, you are our dear father, the tsar-father, please listen to the opinion of the common people. And take a closer look at the best practices of the Lipetsk Regional Health Department. You see, and we will be able not only to overcome the damned crisis, but also to get out of it with a profit.

Yes, and don't forget about the order.
Well, or at least about the medal.
I'm not asking for myself…

UPD. I wrote this letter and was about to send it (not to LJ, of course, but much further), but at the last moment I decided to warn my sister.
I'm calling. I'm warning you.
She says: Are you crazy! I'm going to get fired!
So what, - I say, - let them fire me. What have you got to lose? Three thousand rubles? It's not a salary, it's a humiliation. I'm ready to pay you 5, so that they don't wipe their feet on you.
And the sister answers: You don't understand anything. I REALLY LOVE MY JOB. I can't live without her. What does the salary have to do with it…

Bliiiiiiin!
It remains only to be surprised and throw up your hands. You can still be happy. For the country. And for its president. And separately for the Lipetsk Regional Health Department. And for the Yelets medical workers. And, of course, for the Yelets kidney patients - chroniclers…

P.S. Dear President, please, I beg you very much: cancel the salaries of doctors at all. And some individual nurses (my sister, for example), please make them pay extra for the right to go to work.
Because otherwise nothing will change in our country. Never.

Portal "Eternal youth" www.vechnayamolodost.ru25.02.2009